The All at Once

I have missed you all and missed writing in this special space. I apologize for the void. Life has been wonder-full.

I blame Pluto, well, blame sounds aggressive. Pluto moved from Capricorn into the sign of Aquarius in on January 20th, my sun sign- so I have felt the energy dramatically. Pluto will live here in the stars for the next 20 years, think generationally. With the change-over, lots of untended/un-filed/unexpected items have become activated with a shift in the the realms of our collective consciousness, as well as on the Holmes' front (Aquarius is Dave's sun sign, too).

Since Pluto's move, we got our building permit, found a builder, I celebrated turning 49 dancing with friends under the full moon, Dave celebrated his 50th with a weekend filled with amazing friends who traveled to St. Thomas from near and far, I went to the States twice to see Elsa and Harry- visiting both Universal Orlando and Choate for the New England Wrestling Championships, I found a rental that would allow dogs (1 in 24 MLS listings!), the kids came home for spring break and then Dave and I packed up and moved out of our house the next day.

Since the last week of January, I've experienced abundance at its best- being with loved ones, celebrating my beloved and getting the green light on our house project. I've also been at the mercy of abundance with brimming over chaos and early morning wake-ups (2am) that had me spinning like a top heading towards an edge I couldn't quite see. My heart's been full of delight and anxiety, trying to keep up with this deluge of answered prayers. And even now that the move is over, the renovation has started and the kids are back at school, this all at once isn't going to stop any time soon.

But with a little hindsight and perspective, and a slight change in the pace of some heavy lifting, what truly matters in this all at once, Pluto aside, is my family being together, all five of us, at once. Coexisting as a family unit now only happens for weeks at a time.

The emptying and restocking of the nest make for a see-saw of jubilation and abandonment. An ebb and flow of getting the band back together and the disbanding of what was causes us all to pause and figure out how to cohabitate under one roof. Like a rubber band, our familial homeostasis stretches from coast to coast to coast and returns to a circular huddle but a few times a year. So I say, "Bring on the all."

The all is my beautiful daughter splayed out on our living room sofa because all the beds are taken and it's her turn for the couch.

The all is playing Rabble (think salad bowl/https://www.rabblegame.com) at a restaurant and acting out "doggie style", "consultant", and "little black dress".

The all is wondering if your kids are getting fried because they didn't re-apply sunscreen on the boat back from Virgin Gorda. And, oh boy, they got red.

The all is making bacon, egg and cheeses for breakfast, orzo and tuna salad for lunch, zucchini fritters and grilled chicken for dinner and having no leftovers.

The all is watching 21 Jump Street and 22 Jump Street on consecutive nights.

The all is surrendering to stuff everywhere; boxes, laundry, dog hair, computer chargers, wet towels, shoes, books, last night's dishes.

The all is holding back the tidal wave of your to-do's and doing for the kids, reminding yourself that you get to do this intensive parenting thing pretty infrequently, so do it happily.

The all is the brimming over chaos, the airline miles, the mess, the awe of your early launched, differentiated children making their way back to you with open arms.

The all is the homecoming.

With a stretched heart,

St. Sunshine